18-24 Months: Child to Child -- Milestones

1. Watches and plays briefly with other children.

Toddlers continue to spend most of their social playtime watching and imitating other children their age. They may play next to someone for very brief periods, but they tend to become possessive and demanding, and need adult help and direction. As they play, there are instances of mutual give-and-take, but then the play may be disrupted because taking turns is still difficult. At these times, adults are needed to provide guidance. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• watch carefully as their friend digs with a shovel at the sand table
• run across the play yard waving their arms and screaming "Yiiii" behind another child doing the same thing
• refuse to share their riding toy with another child
• participate in a play sequence briefly, such as pretending to eat at the table in dramatic play
• watch a child build with a stack of cardboard blocks, go over and push it over, then help to rebuild it
• imitate a peer who is crawling like a worm or hopping like a frog
• grab the shovel their friend is using, but give it back when the friend cries

Needing development, they might:

• not even try to play with other children
• hit and kick when told they need to let another child have a turn
• hold on desperately to the whole box of crayons, refusing to listen to the teacher explain that other children can use the crayons, too
• run through the sand pile, kicking over the castle that the other children were building
• watch one child building with blocks, start to help, but move away when a second child joins the play

2. Shows awareness of other children's feelings.

Toddlers are continuing to grow in their awareness of the feelings of others. They are inconsistent in their responses, sometimes displaying empathy and sometimes showing possessiveness and saying, "No!" or "Mine!" At one moment their responses seem to be reasonable, while in the next moment they may become contrary and unable to respond to another child. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• give a friend a giant "love you" hug, just because they feel like it
• come to you with a look of distress and point to another child who is crying
• pat another child on the back and say, "It's all right," when the other child cries because his mommy just went out the door
• put their arm around a child who has fallen off a riding toy
• add a block to a construction another child is making when they see the child looking around for something
• wipe their doll's cheeks while saying, "Don't cry"

Needing development, they might:

• grab the riding toy for themselves after another child falls off
• shout at a child who is crying and put their hands over their ears
• pull harder to take the truck when another child cries and holds onto it
• knock over the blocks other children are using, then run out of the play area
• push another child's paper and glue project off the table after they've argued over who will have the glue first