|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

The Social Butterfly

Education Expert Advice from Peggy Gisler, Ed.S. and Marge Eberts, Ed.S.

Q: My 13-year-old daughter is having troubles in school. She is the social butterfly and insists on visiting her friends rather than concentrating on what needs to be done in the class. The teacher gives her time to complete homework in class, lists assignments on the board, etc.; yet my daughter ignores this and takes the extra time to visit instead. This has been going on for far too long. Every time any of her grades slip below C level, I ground her from outings with friends. What else can I do? Please help me end the cycle. Thank you.

A: Since your grounding rules are not resulting in any long-term success, a new approach is needed.

Schedule a conference with the teacher that includes your daughter. Making her a participant in solving the problem is essential. At the start of the conference, the purpose of short term study periods at school must be explained to your child. She needs to understand that teachers give students this time to organize their work and to clarify what needs to be done for homework. The students are able to ask questions about assignments and get any special help that is needed. It should also be pointed out that if she learns how to use this time effectively now, she will be able to reduce her homework time in high school considerably, leaving more time for her activities.

After the discussion of the purpose of a study time, the teacher needs to restate how she expects your daughter and the other students to behave during this time. Then the ball is in your daughter's court. She needs to tell how she is going to improve her behavior. You want solid suggestions -- not promises to do better. If she has no ideas, you could suggest the following: seating her away from friends, using a study carrel (a partition used for private study) in the classroom, seating her away from all her classmates in the back of the room, and having the teacher give her one reminder not to talk.

These suggestions may not be sufficient to change your daughter's behavior. It may be necessary for her and the teacher to agree on an immediate consequence any time your daughter fails to behave appropriately in class. Finally, both you and the teacher should remember to praise your daughter as she begins to resolve this situation.

More on: Expert Advice

Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts are experienced teachers who have more than 60 educational publications to their credit. They began writing books together in 1979. Careers for Bookworms was a Book-of-the-Month Club paperback selection, and Pancakes, Crackers, and Pizza received recognition from the Children's Reading Roundtable. Gisler and Eberts taught in classrooms from kindergarten through graduate school. Both have been supervisors at the Butler University Reading Center.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Healthy Smile Checklist for Kids
Have better dental check-ups with this free printable checklist that helps keep your child flossing, brushing, and smiling! Brought to you by Philips Sonicare.

Kindergarten Readiness App
It's kindergarten registration time! Use this interactive kindergarten readiness checklist, complete with fun games and activities, to practice the essential skills your child needs for this next big step. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Top 10 Earth Day Books for Children
Celebrate the environment by reading some of these great children's books about Earth Day, recycling, planting trees, and all things green!

Prom Dress Trends for 2014
Check out 2014 prom dress trends inspired by celebrities’ red carpet looks, but with a price tag under $100!