Special Ed Advocacy: Nine Rules of Thumb

Rule eight

Rule Eight: Don't Confuse Personality Conflicts with Real Issues
A dispute between parents and school system employees over what services a child needs can bring out the worst in people. However, a parent cannot afford to be distracted by the bad manners of a teacher or administrator, nor to allow his or her own anger to erupt into rudeness. Remember that the real issue in any case is whether the actual services in the classroom are sufficient to enable a child to progress educationally and whether the service providers are qualified to deliver those services, not whether the school representatives treat you with civility. It often helps to put yourself mentally into the shoes of the administrator and/or teacher and understand their agendas. For example, a special education administrator must respond not just to children's needs and to parents, but also to the demands of superintendents, school committees and teachers and other service providers. A regular education teacher, who entered her profession with energy, creativity, and love for children, may have been burned out by years of teaching increasingly larger classes, including children with complex special needs, without adequate support or training.