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Mother Interferes in Child's Friendship

Middle School Expert Advice from Connie Collins

Q: My 15-year-old daughter had a falling out with a friend she has had since she was 5. I tend to leave this between the girls, and encourage my daughter to get beyond the misunderstanding and apologize if someone's feelings have been hurt, even if it wasn't intentional. The other mom decided to interfere, and confronted my daughter, leaving her upset and confused. This was truly a small matter, and the mom never gave my daughter a chance to explain her side of the story. Do I contact the mom? Is it appropriate for a parent to interfere with a falling out between her daughter and a friend?

A: I think that you handled the girls' situation quite wisely. It sounds as if the other mom escalated the issue way beyond its importance. I would suggest that your calling her would only further the escalation. Instead, I would focus on assuring your daughter, and as you said, to let the girls sort it out.

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Connie Collins, professional school counselor, worked for 35 years in public education as a teacher and counselor at the middle school and secondary levels. Collins worked daily with the parents of the students in her various schools, and has facilitated several parenting groups.


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