|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Dealing with Pre-adolescent Cattiness

Middle School Expert Advice from Connie Collins

Q: How do I teach my 12-year-old daughter the skills to deal with the cattiness and general behavior of pre-adolescent girls? One girl may make fun of the way my daughter wears her hair; another may say "I'm not playing with you today -- I'm playing with so-and-so instead." She has been going to the same small-town school since first grade. She has always had difficulty with forming relationships and takes these negative remarks to heart. I don't know what to do.

A: It is always so hard to see one's child hurt by mean remarks. Continue to strengthen your daughter's self-image by letting her do things to help you around the house. Continue to love her, to tell her when you are pleased with her, to compliment her on what she does, dresses, smiles, laughs, etc. She is not alone in having difficulty in forming relationships. Most pre-adolescents do, even though they may appear sophisticated and seem to have many friends.

The relationship you and the rest of your family nurture with your daughter are the surest and best ways to protect her. If the harassing continues, I encourage you to talk with the school counselor. You might be able to get her involved in a good peer-mediation or conflict-resolution program.

More on: Expert Advice

Connie Collins, professional school counselor, worked for 35 years in public education as a teacher and counselor at the middle school and secondary levels. Collins worked daily with the parents of the students in her various schools, and has facilitated several parenting groups.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Join BIC on our mission to save handwriting and Fight For Your Write! Writing helps kids become better readers, boosts their confidence and sparks their creativity. Visit BICFightForYourWrite.com to sign our petition to save handwriting!

7 Fun Driveway and Sidewalk Games for Kids
Looking for classic outdoor games kids can play in the driveway or on the sidewalk, just like the good ol' days? From hopscotch to bubble-blowing contests, there's something for all ages!

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Best Sun Safety Practices for Babies
Follow these sun safety practices for babies to ensure your little one stays safe on the beach and on sunny days all year long.