Home > Teens > Puberty and Sex > Teens and Dating > Your Sexually Active Teen
|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Your Sexually Active Teen

Elementary School Expert Advice from Barbara Potts

Q: My son's girlfriend's mother is very upset because she found a letter my son had written to her daughter -- it mentions petting, him touching her breasts, and touching her inside her pants. The mother brought me by a copy of the letter and I didn't overreact to the situation. He is 15 and she is 14. The girl has been forbidden to talk to my son. I'm afraid that will only lead to further problems or the daughter's resentment of her mother. How should this be handled?

A: You're right that forbidding the two kids to have contact may push them into taking steps that they otherwise wouldn't take. There's nothing you can say to help the mom in her relationship with her daughter, but if you get the opportunity you might encourage them to go for some family counseling. You might also talk with the school counselor and tell him what happened; the counselor could not talk with you about the girl, but he could follow up with her.

You are able to deal with your son, however. Talk with him and let him know that you saw the note. As you've already done, don't overreact. Make sure that he knows your values and expectations of him with regard to sexual activity, and that he understands about birth control and protection from sexually transmitted disease. You may find that your son wants your support in cooling off this situation. Be sure that there is adult supervision available when they are together.

More on: Expert Advice

Barbara Potts has worked as an elementary school counselor for many years. She has a BA in psychology from Wake Forest University, and an M.Ed. in Guidance and Counseling from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Top 10 Group Halloween Costumes for Families
These store-bought and Pinterest-inspired Halloween costume ideas for groups are the perfect way to show off your creative side at your Halloween party or while trick-or-treating.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

12 Spine-Tingling Halloween Movies for Teens
Are you looking for a movie with just a little bit of spook-factor for your teen? Check out these 12 spine-tingling Halloween movies!

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!