36-42 Months: Child to Child -- Milestones

1. Engages in cooperative play with other children.

Preschoolers can now include give-and-take in their play with others. They begin to share play themes and to plan simple play ideas together. They ask each other questions, make suggestions, and begin to have ongoing friendships. They become more involved with a small number of specific children and often want to play with only one friend. Although they do play together and can work out some of the problems they encounter, they still need adult support to find solutions to many of the social conflicts that arise. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• ask several children to play a game of chase with them, but get angry when it doesn't work the way they expected
• trade the red marker on the table for the green marker that another child is using
• plan how to act out a favorite story with a friend in the classroom
• join in games of pretend play with other children – for example, playing house and assigning roles such as, "You be the mommy and I'll be the daddy"
• say to a friend, "It's my turn, me first," as they scramble to be first to jump off the low step of the climbing structure
• laugh almost hysterically at the snack table when a friend makes silly faces

Needing development, they might:

• run to be first in line, pushing aside another child who got there first
• hold onto the ball just rolled to them and not roll it on to anyone else
• play so roughly that other children are afraid of them
• push another child while grabbing away the toy he had been playing with and ignoring his protests

2. Shows increasing ability to understand the feelings of other children.

Preschoolers are becoming more aware of other children's feelings and are starting to understand that their actions and words affect others. Although their actions sometimes lead to conflicts, and their enthusiasm includes being angry when things don't go their way, they are learning some simple techniques for solving or preventing these conflicts. Adults continue to play an important role in helping them figure out how other children feel and how to handle social interactions. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• find the dustpan and broom to sweep up the sand they spilled
• let a friend know that she can use the marble roll now
• tell a classmate that there are too many people in the block area, so he should paint at the easel
• gather all the blocks into a pile and tell the next child who comes into the block corner that there are no more blocks left
• explain to the teacher that Tanika is sad because her hamster died last night

Needing development, they might:

• grab the water bucket away from another child, ignoring that child's protests
• tell another child he cannot play in the housekeeping play area
• yell, "You're stupid!" when another child takes the truck or stuffed animal
• grab the cash register and tell the other child she can't play with it any longer
• walk away saying, "You're not my friend," when a classmate begins to argue over the riding trucks