36-42 Months: It's About Trust -- Milestones

1. Reflects attitudes and behaviors of familiar adults.

Preschoolers imitate the characteristics and habits of the adults around them by expressing similar likes, dislikes, and attitudes. They want to please their caregivers and do things just as they do. They attempt to help with grown-up jobs and are eager to be a part of every activity. Now it is easier for them to be away from their parents as their memory develops and they can imagine where their parents are during separation. This helps them feel secure. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• pause when they notice that their caregiver is frowning, but then continue to throw sand over the edge of the sandbox
• carry a cereal bowl themselves, but when it spills, sob until someone helps them
• tell a friend that they should take off their shoes when they are on the sofa, using the same tone of voice that their parent uses
• turn the dramatic play area into a grocery store and "shop" just as they have done with their parents or caregivers
• make "dinnertime" in the dramatic play area more elaborate by adding place mats, putting out dinnerware, and placing a flower on the table
• create an imaginary friend to whom they can talk, the way they see adults chat with their friends
• seek the approval of adults important to them as they try new activities
• ask a caregiver to look at their new "invention" or to praise them when they accomplish a new skill
• ask their mother to stay with them when a new visitor comes to the house

Needing development, they might:

• not act out daily events in pretend play
• pay little attention to the whereabouts of familiar adults
• be fearful and not allow important adults out of their sight
• be passive and quiet and unresponsive to the adults around them

2. Shows comfort around new adults.

Preschoolers usually enjoy meeting new people, even in new places, especially when they know that their regular caregivers are close by. They are curious about new people, initiate interactions, and now tend to be fairly talkative. They can do this with less direct support from the adults who care for them. However, since their imaginations are very active, these new experiences can sometimes be frightening. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• talk to a visitor and give their name, as long as a caregiver is standing nearby
• walk around the room and look at toys on a visit to a new preschool classroom, but not respond to the teacher's questions
• ask for help from the person standing nearby when trying to open a heavy door
• ask the clerk at the shoestore about the funny way he measures feet
• call out a greeting to the woman sitting in her yard as they walk by
• feel comfortable with the new baby-sitter as long as he or she starts an activity that is familiar, such as reading a favorite book, or building with blocks

Needing development, they might:

• not look at or respond to the parent of another child on the playground who offers to push the swing
• hide behind a caregiver when a person with a loud voice comes near
• not try to sit near the new teacher or baby-sitter, even if he or she is reading a story
• run up to an unfamiliar person and start to pet his or her dog, even though the caregiver is calling them to come back