Ace Your Parent-Teacher Conference!

Parents on conferences

by Susan Friedman

I still remember how panicked I was about parent/teacher conferences my first year teaching. An experienced teacher gave me this advice, "Always say the positive things first -- and when you want to discuss something that's an issue, make sure you bring up specific examples rather than generalities about a child's behavior." Turns out this was pretty good advice for getting the conferences off on the right foot. But what about advice for parents? For many busy parents, this is one of the only times when they can sit face to face with the teacher to discuss their child. We've asked some parents and teachers to share their tips on making the most of conferences. After all, who would know better than people who've been there?

Dennis
Dennis and his wife have two children, ages ten and six. After leaving a number of conferences remembering all the things they didn't ask, they've come up with some organizational pointers to keep the conferences on track.

• My wife and I review what we want to talk about beforehand: We actually have a folder that we keep on each child, with the results of previous conferences, notes from the teacher, things like that. It's a way for us to be prepared.

• We've learned over time that the conferences are short and it's very easy to get sidetracked. So we make sure to write down all important questions we want to get in. We decided to do this after leaving many conferences saying to each other "why didn't we ask about that?"

• When we get home, we jot down any questions we have for the next conference. And we always take a minute to write a short thank-you note to the teacher. This really helps us get better treatment. The teacher knows we are serious and respectful and we see the results.

• We also review what we will discuss with the kids. The kids always want to know what we discussed in the conference, and they can be a little anxious about it.

Ada
Ada, mother of two teens, tells parents to prepare themselves for the negative stuff and be ready to help come up with a plan for improvement.

• It really depends on the school. If there's a low student/teacher ratio, then you can expect the teacher to talk not only about your child's work but also on how your child fits in with other kids. In a larger school setting, parents need to do more work to inform the teacher of your kids' issues and to interpret patterns in performance. Think about what the teacher should know about your kid's performance. What has remained consistent from year to year? What might be different this year?

• Prepare yourself for the negative stuff because this is something you want to get out of the conference as well. If you find out there is a problem, try to come up with a plan for improvement and follow through with another appointment if necessary.

• Make sure you look at the graded assignments your kid brings home so that you can help the teacher see exactly where your child has difficulty.

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