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Elementary School: The Foundation for Academic Success

Before your student ever went to school, you were his first teacher. If you value education, achievement, and learning, then your student will too. You are not only your student's first teacher; you are her best teacher, and your involvement in her formal education means the world to her. In order to convey that commitment to education, you have to be involved in the life of the school.

I always quote former vice president Al Gore in my workshops. "We have to have parent involvement to raise successful kids," he said. "The most promising approach to improving our schools may be the oldest and most obvious: getting families more involved in their children's education."

So be involved! Get to know your student's teacher, keep up with the classwork and curriculum, attend school events, and know what is expected of your student. Encourage enrollment in cultural events, extracurricular activities, and math and science enrichment. Even at this tender age, your student can learn the benefits of volunteering and building a network of supportive teachers, administrators, and community leaders.

I know from hearing countless parents tell me they don't have time that there is a real gap between parental work hours and school volunteer hours. You're busy. We're all busy. Regardless, I still tell parents, your student's school needs you, and your student needs you at school. Do what it takes to put in the time.

Showing your "face in the place" sends the message to the school and to your children that school is important to you and the family. A lot of times my then-husband and I were unable to attend events, but we always sent snacks or money to help with supplies. Sometimes we would take a lunch hour and spend it in the school cafeteria instead of at work.

Stumped for what to do at your child's school? Try any or all of the following:

• Join the PTA.
• Bake for a bake sale, or help plan one.
• Act as a lunchroom or playground monitor.
• Chaperone field trips or any events that take place away from school.
• Help plan and chaperone dances, proms, or graduation ceremonies.
• Act as a classroom helper, or volunteer in the computer lab.
• Organize or assist with a club or special interest group.
• Help out with the gym or sports activities.
• Help prepare press releases or write grant applications.
• Work in the library.
• Sew costumes or build sets for theatrical productions.
• Help out with any arts, crafts, or design projects.
• When all ideas abandon you, ask your child's teacher!

Attending a Parent Conference
Before you even set foot in the classroom, take a minute to prepare. First, talk to your student. Ask what she would like you to discuss with her teacher, and if she has any likes and dislikes about how the class spends its days. Then promise (and this is important) that you will talk to her after the conference and let her know what was said.

Take some time with your own thoughts before your conference. Prepare some questions in advance. For instance, you might want to know if your student has any learning disabilities, whether she is working at grade level, or whether she is above grade level. Find out if your student is more often a ringleader or follower when it comes to class projects. Is she disruptive or generally obedient? Make sure you ask what you can do to help her at home to be more successful at school.

Her teacher will want to know if your student has any medical needs, any favorite subjects or hobbies, and/or whether anything particularly stressful is happening at home that could affect her school performance (a new baby, a move, etc.).

While you are at the conference, ask to see your student's work--the teacher will no doubt already have prepared a whole folder for you to look at. If the teacher talks about something you don't understand, don't be afraid to ask for explanations. Teaching, like any profession, has its own terminology and shorthand with which you might not be familiar. Before you leave the conference, go over what has been said and whatever agreements you may have made so that both you and the teacher are clear on any plan of action.

After the conference, you still need to follow up. Have that talk that you promised your daughter, relating to her what was said and agreed on at the conference. Stress anything positive that was mentioned, and talk about suggestions for improvements. Together with your child, make a plan to carry out those improvements. Make sure you review progress reports and report cards whenever they come home.Good Study Habits Make Great Students
Have a regular time and place for doing homework. Insist that your student bring homework home daily. If homework isn't coming home, you need to follow up with the school to make sure that none has been sent home. Make yourself available for homework assistance and offer other resources if needed. Tutoring in a particular subject can be arranged whether through school or on your own. Keep a list of people and phone numbers who can assist with school assignments. Is Aunt Maxine a whiz at math? Can Neighbor Joe be relied on for untangling tricky writing assignments? Check and make sure they're willing to help, and then add them to your Specialist Homework Help List.

You can make a homework zone in your house, even if it's a corner of a room with a desk and a lamp. Having a specific place to do homework assists concentration. You can also get in the habit of asking questions before and after a homework session to find out what needs to be done and then to make sure it has gotten done. It's not your job to do the work for your student, but you can and should point out what hasn't been done and what has been done incorrectly. Don't forget to praise a job well done!

Even when they don't have homework, homework time should be spent reading, not watching TV. Never have the TV on while they're doing homework, even if it means you have to miss something you wanted to watch. It's more important to limit the number of distractions so your student can focus on homework.

A study from the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation from October 2003 showed that children are watching more television than ever, and they're watching at younger and younger ages. Among children under two, a whopping 59 percent watch TV every day. On average, kids zero to six spend two hours a day in front of some kind of media--that's TV, computers, videos, and DVDs. That's a lot! I know it's convenient to keep the little ones entertained while you get dinner on the table or while you do something else, but what message are they getting? You need to use television judiciously and set limits on what they watch and how much. When you can, watch with them and then discuss with them what you've seen.

These kinds of discussions don't have to be limited to TV topics, though that can be a good place to start. Home was your student's first learning environment, and it should continue to be a place where learning happens. Talk about school, talk about what your student is learning. If you're following the advice in this book, you have plenty of reading material you can discuss. The point is to keep the conversation going and to keep learning happening.

Miss Sharon Says
Show Up at School: Offer your special skills to your student's teacher. An ability to sew, fold origami, draw, or act can spark opportunities for you in your student's classroom.

Know Your Rights: But respect the rights of the school administration as well. They are working with you, not against you.

Move Through and Beyond Special Ed: Special education is not a dead end for your student, nor is it something to be ashamed of. Use it to help your child, then get past it.

Just Do It: Weekend homework doesn't have to be done last thing Sunday night. Establish Friday night homework sessions so the weekend can be spent relaxing and recharging for the coming week.