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How to Motivate an Underachiever

If you feel your child is unmotivated, here's how to turn things around.

Contributing factors

Contributing Factors
What is getting Dino down? The following ideas elaborate on some critical elements that might be contributing to a low-achieving cycle. Each contains suggestions to implement if you think they apply to your middle schooler.

Health and Developmental Causes
Certainly, hammering hormones add moodiness, irritability, and resentment to Dino's hair-flattening sofa experience. But it might be more. Check out the most obvious thing first, his physical condition. Investigate whether food or environmental allergies, sensory integration dysfunction, or hormonal or metabolism changes might be making him less productive. Take him to a trusted health care professional for a complete physical evaluation. Do not, however, spend any precious time searching for a magic potion. Nobody has bottled motivation yet.

Poor Self-Image
With health concerns eliminated or under control, check his school environment next. Maybe it's a self-image problem that's got Dino stuck. Has anything uncomfortable happened in school recently? Did he, perish the thought, wear the wrong kind of shirt to school? Middle schoolers think and function in a constantly comparative mode that few, other than cancer researchers, do with greater microscopic precision. Teasing, taunting, and bullying are common currency, and even popular and well-adjusted kids can be adversely affected by it.

Seeking Dino's input is a critical first step to understanding his lack of motivation. Find a subtle and gentle way to initiate a conversation. Use a third person, nonconfrontational opener like "I hear that some kids in your school are..." If that gets you exactly nowhere, try the direct approach like "I am ready to talk anytime about things that are going on with you in school." When that fails, too, turn to his friend who always tells you everything. If together you determine that Dino's lack of motivation and low achievement have their basis in his school environment, set a conference immediately with his school guidance counselor, his favorite or homeroom teacher, or the school principal. Don't let teasing, taunting, or bullying persist any longer than the first minute you hear about it.

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