Responding to Other People's Concerns About Your Decision to Homeschool

Page 2

Socialization
This is definitely the most commonly expressed concern and is stated in a number of ways, such as the following:

• What about spending time with kids their own age?

• What about friends?

• How will they learn to deal with other people?

• How will they learn to deal with the real world?

• Some of my best memories are from my school days, aren't you depriving your kids of this opportunity?

• Won't your kids be too sheltered?

Although this list contains some of the more common ways this concern is expressed, it is by no means exhaustive. This class of concerns is far and away the most common you are likely to hear when people find out you are homeschooling. The ironic thing is that homeschoolers actually have better socialization opportunities than do their institutionally educated counterparts (as you'll find out in the list below).

Following are some points that you might use to respond to socialization questions:

• Kids being primarily influenced by their peer group (by spending all day with other kids their own age) isn't a good thing, actually. It amazes me that the most common cause cited for problems such as drug abuse, unwanted pregnancies, and other such issues is peer pressure. And yet, many people still think that kids spending most of their time being influenced by other kids in an institutional setting is a good thing. It seems clear that less peer pressure and more "parental pressure" on kids can only be good for them. It is much better that kids be primarily influenced by their parents and families than by other kids who lack the maturity and wisdom needed to guide their development.

• Homeschooled kids have more and more varied opportunities to interact with other people than "regular" school kids do. If you look at how typical school kids spend their days, they are basically "locked" in a situation in which the vast majority of their interaction is with kids their own age, with some of that time being unsupervised or inadequately supervised. Homeschoolers, on the other hand, have a more varied social life and spend lots of time with their parents and families, other homeschooled kids (typically of a wider age range than they deal with in regular schools), as well as adults during activities such as field trips, special projects, and so on.

• Contrary to what many people think, homeschoolers are not isolationists. In fact, the reality is just the opposite. Effective homeschoolers spend lots of time with other people, such as with homeschool groups, field trips, music and other activities, and so on.

• The "nostalgia" objection is also false. Most people tend to remember only the "good" times at school and seem to forget all the abuse that goes on in typical school environments (teasing, taunting, bullying, cliques, and so on) even for kids who mostly fit in. Heaven help the kids who don't fit in! Homeschoolers generate plenty of their own good memories, without many of the painful and unproductive experiences of institutional school environments.

• Because homeschoolers tend to spend more time with a variety of people (rather than mostly with kids their own age), they tend to develop better social skills than do traditionally educated kids. Most homeschoolers are more comfortable interacting with adults, older kids, and younger kids than their institutionally schooled counterparts.

• Homeschoolers spend lots of time with their parents, especially with the parent who manages the homeschool. This is a good thing because the parent is able to help the child develop in a positive and purposeful intellectual and moral climate.