8-12 Months: It's About Trust - Milestones

1. Shows preference for familiar adults.

The connections that 12-months-olds make with their parents and with other caregivers,which grow stronger and more complex as they grow older. They show their preferences more clearly for the adults who are frequently with them in caretaking and play activities. They show their interest in adults by imitating parents and caregivers, trying to engage them with smiles and babbling, and clinging in the presence of a new person or event. They definitely do not want to be very far away from the people they are familiar with. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• actively cling, cry, or try to follow when their parent says "good-bye" or opens the door to leave
• show great delight when a caretaker plays peekaboo with them
• check out their caregiver's reaction before deciding if they should act hurt after they fall down
• reach to their caregiver for comfort when upset or hurt, because no one else will do
• hold a toy phone to their ear as they've seen other people do
• point to a book when they want to get someone's attention, showing that they know that reading is something familiar adults will do
• tug on their parent's leg repeatedly while he or she is talking on the phone
• imitate various actions of their caregivers, such as patting a doll on the back in the way the caregiver does with them

Needing development, they might:

• not show emotion as they watch their parent walk out of the room
• cry and pull away or hide from caregivers and family when they are upset
• not point to things to show that they are interested in something
• act frightened during a game of peekaboo, even though it's with a familiar adult
• not appear to keep track of where their family or caretakers are

2. Reacts to unfamiliar adults.

Twelve-month-olds know who is who in their world. They express this by responding differently to people they know and trust than to people they don't know or haven't seen for a while. Though the intensity may differ, almost all one-year-olds show some hesitancy and fear of new people. Sometimes they even protest when their parents leave them with their familiar child-care provider. It makes sense: Their parents are the most important people in their world, and being separated from them can be frightening and upsetting. For example:

Developing as expected, they might:

• play comfortably in a new setting until the arrival of a new person, then need to be comforted and to sit close to a familiar adult
• stop exploring or playing in order to watch intently when an unfamiliar adult enters the room
• look from the stranger to the caregiver and back again as the stranger approaches
• cry inconsolably when their parents leave them with a baby-sitter or caregiver
• seem worried about people they used to smile at
• enjoy the ride in their stroller until a new person stops to talk to them, and then they start to fuss and reach around for you to hold them

Needing development, they might:

• ignore a parent's return, even though they had been upset when the parent left
• smile and reach toward an unfamiliar person, allowing the stranger to pick them up and hold them
• respond as if terrified when a new person is present, and can't be comforted by a familiar adult
• offer their toy to a new person who just came into the room